Lovers in Cairo : love in a climate where anything outside marriage is forbidden. In Egypt, love before marriage is a purely platonic affair. Having dated for several years, the wedding which is celebrated in public and recorded by a sollicitor, marks the beginning of young Egyptians’ sexual life. But the current economic climate and the impossibility of fulfilling all the required financial conditions, apartment, furniture, dowry, jewellry etc., means the engagement period goes on indefinitely and forces young people to get married in secret. With only a marriage certificate, both partner’s signatures and two witnesses, ‘orfi’ marriage candidates are now ready to fully live their relationship that has God’s blessing. That is why Ahmad, who is 31 years old, and his colleague Amal, who is 27, and who have known and gone out with each other for the past 4 years, finally had an orfi wedding last year when the girl’s father opposed their marriage once again. Ahmad isn’t the ideal son-in-law. His accountant’s salary and the fact that he comes from the middle classes means that he isn’t in a position to provide a beautiful appartment, as well as his love, to house his future family. So they cope as best they can while waiting for the day when he’ll have enough money to ask her father again. Omr, his best friend and witness, is 33 years old. He has had three different orfi marriages but « by the grace of God, no children ! » Each time it was the same scenario. When the relationship was over he and his wife ripped up the marriage certificate and he paid her 1000 Egyptian pounds in compensation, the equivalent of a 4-month average wage. The young lady gained her freedom and probably used the money for an operation to restore her false virginity, get married again and have a family. The problems begin when the two partners disagree, or when the secret wife gets pregnant and the man refuses to acknowledge the child. As is the case for Ahmad and Omr, it is mainly young people and students who succomb, more and more frequently, to the dangers of secret love. According to Egyptian lawyer, Fawziya Abd El Aal, working at the Centre for Egyptian Women’s rights, orfi marriages have recently become a trend, with 4100 marriages of this type in 2008 of which 17% involved students. These are figures that reveal a growing tension between an unbending society and Egyptian youth who aspire to move with the times. Near Cairo University in the Gizeh district of the city, you can buy an orfi marriage for a few Egyptian pounds. Traditionally it is more often middle-aged men who resort to this type of marriage, in order to wed a woman in secret without their first wife’s consent, or widows who don’t want to lose their deceased husband’s pension. But arabs from the Gulf will also ‘marry’ a young illiterate woman from the country during their holidays in Cairo in return for a small amount of money. Human trafficking ? Prostitution ? So for the majority of Egyptians, who are so preoccupied with good morals, orfi marriage is a door leading to all sorts of abuse. The beginning of the end. For Raafat, who is 46 years old and the head of a private language school, « it’s a terrible disaster ». As for Tina, who is a 21-year old student living in one of the wealthy areas of Cairo, her opinion of women who have been through an orfi marriage is scathing : « women who do that are whores ». Whereas orfi marriage allows the couple to spend nights in a hotel without being denounced by the police, it gives no rights to women whatsoever, if her husband leaves her for example, as she cannot even cancel the marriage if she doesn’t has the original marriage certificate. To avoid injustice, the lawyer Ashraf Farahat advises future orfi spouses who are serious about getting married, to hire the services of a lawyer and get a copy of the marriage cerificate registered with the law courts. In his practice in the centre of Cairo, he sees 4 or 5 orfi couples a month. Are these the first steps towards legalising orfi marriages ? For the past few years things have slowly started to change. There was a recent attempt at marriage reform by the copt MP, Ibtissam Habib, which aimed to outlaw orfi marriage and was largely spoken about in the press, before finally being rejected by the Islamic Council. Tongues are slowly being loosened and people are becoming more open-minded. There is a timid change in sexual education too. The sex-therapist Heba Kotb has started giving advice in the press for hallal sexuality, and there is a secular version with the charismatic Doctor Medhat who is fighting for a marriage school. His conferences are attended by grand-mothers with their grand-daughters as well as lone women wearing a head to toe veil. Today in Znanery’s law court (Cairo’s family affairs court), dozens of young women are waiting in line for court cases against their orfi husbands. They are often there, like Maïda who is a lawyer’s assistant and has a 3-year old son from a failed orfi marriage, to annul their secret marriage and to be able to get married again, ask for legal recognition of their child by the father, and alimony. Only a few years ago, it was solely western women who dared get involved in such a process. It was Hind El Hinnawy’s bravery that changed the stakes. Five years ago, this young woman who is an interior designer and is now 32 years old, fought in the courts and media with the determination and freshness of pasionarias against her orfi husband so that he would acknowledge their daughter Lina. Ahmad Fishawi who is the son of famous actor parents, and who is himself an actor and television presenter, and who publically displays his devotion to islam, refused to acknowledge their secret marriage for a long time, but he finally lost. And if Maïada is here today it is, she says, thanks to the example set by Hind El Hinnawy « Through her I understood that it was possible to ask for justice and to obtain it ». But for one woman like Maïada who is finally happy with the outcome of her court case and who will soon remarry, how many women have lost their honour and are now mother to a child who isn’t acknowledged and who they have to bring up with no hope of marrying again ?
(text by Nathalie Cattaruzza)
